“Song 1” by Karmella Cen Benedito De Barros

Karmella Cen Benedito De Barros

To celebrate the publication of issue 44.1 Growing Room, we’re delighted to share this song, Song 1, by Karmella Cen Benedito De Barros, Community Engagement Leader for Room. Karmella does incredible work, both inside and outside of this organization, and she was integral to the creation of the day-long Indigenous Brilliance event intended to be held at the 2020 Growing Room Literary & Arts Festival. She also has a poem published in the 44.1 Growing Room issue, which you can read by ordering the issue online, and watch this space as we share more content from contributors to the Growing Room 44.1 issue all throughout the month of March.

Karmella’s musical practice is one of self-exploration and creative expression as a form of healing and making space for her emotional being. Song 1 is Karmella’s first published musical piece, exploring the topics of attachment and boundaries between child and caregiver. Drawing from a country and blues inspired vibe, paired with a solid three or four chords, Karmella explores her shadow, and the relationship to her mother as a cowboy with mommy issues.  

Song 1 Lyrics:  

Days go by, and all I do is wait
Time, it always lies
Like the way you used to say

I’ll always need you
I’ll never leave you
You’ll always love
Because you were born from me

So, I wonder
why you didn’t stay

Was I too much,
or not enough?

Was I too much,
or not enough?

Was I too much,
or not enough?

Was I…

Days go by, and all I do is wait.
What’s a Mother’s place

What’s a Mother’s place?

But I wish
you would have stayed.

Karmella Cen Benedito De Barros is a queer, inner-city Nêhiyaw and Afro-Brazilian Cafuzo. Born and raised in diaspora as a guest on the unceded Squamish, Tsleil-Waututh and Musqueam territories, she is currently a Youth Outreach Worker and member of the Room Magazine Editorial Team. Karmella is also working as the Indigenous Brilliance Community Engagement leader who coordinates the Indigenous Brilliance reading series, a collaborative series between Room Magazine and Massy Books, celebrating Indigenous women/2SQ storytellers. Her own artistry is multidisciplinary, grounded in honouring and witnessing the beauty of her environment and communities. Karmella’s most recent work was featured in the Festival Of Recorded Movement 2020, and Room Magazine issue 44.1. You can find her on Instagram @kc.bdb

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