my sixteen-year-old eyes open 
the absence of sharp objects, 
my innermost thoughts 
I step off the elliptical daze, 
the reality that I’m still here, 
a faded blue gown covers 
a body that was intentionally 
how to store violence, how
Linda says something in group, 
while I marvel at the hybridity 
once singular in its purity 
whole, complex, and replete: 
and grapefruit pucker, 
between Japanese plum and 
descendant of black x logan x rasp 
fruit form but shun its human shape. 
my father’s fear of hybridity is 
John tells us he is a triple threat, 
to utter words with confidence, 
sing, nor dance, nor act 
I want to tell John he is lucky, 
the triple threat Dalit women 
of poverty, gender bias, 
Susan screams at the trees 
room. while her words settle 
coming and going from this plane 
that in the absence of obituaries, 
they asked only one question:  
Pam says something in group, 
mouth, as I realize that I 
that life is only time passing  | 
 to white ceiling, white walls, 
a safe space where I can share 
with clipboards and strangers. 
awaken to muted sounds and 
that somehow, I must march on. 
a body with flesh markers, 
omitted, a body that knows 
to live with the unacceptable. 
begins to rock, cry into herself, 
of fruit, this taking of something 
and combining it to make a new 
Minneola of tangerine shape 
Pluot of blasphemous marriage 
Armenian apricot, and Boysenberry, 
berries.  we fawn over amalgam in 
my body has always known this. 
shrapnel lodged in my brain. 
and I wonder what it feels like 
to have talent in spades, but I cannot 
(unless it is to act as insider). 
that we are lucky, to not live with 
face: the inescapable burden 
and caste discrimination.  
framed by the window of the craft 
on the floor, I remember that the 
was different once, 
the Greeks did not write tributes. 
did the person live with passion? 
then stuffs it back into her small 
or none of this truly matters, 
through this body for a while.   |